You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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