i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
