Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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