it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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