at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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