He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
