before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
