Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I don't think brook has ever known best
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
