Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
