you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
