Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize