At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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