sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
this boner is exhausting
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
