I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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