I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Boobs speak an international language.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
