Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
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I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
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Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize