saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
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