she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
