I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I just pynch a tree in the face
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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