If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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