i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
