I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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