hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
