The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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