dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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