I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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