I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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