Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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