im holly from the hills drunk
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
