we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
