what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
