it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Found the puke drawer
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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