The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
