shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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