Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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