my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize