She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
