If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
