Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
