Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
We were destined to go to rehab together
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
