Nicole vs. Life
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
