Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
