Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
only you would photoshop your dick
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Randomize
Follow @tfln