I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize