I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
