It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
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