just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Randomize
