Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
