loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Randomize
