we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
