She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
