Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
