these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
