I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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