Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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