I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
