I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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