you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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