i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
He passed out mid-signature
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
