bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
