I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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