i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
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