I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
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