Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
just tell him i said nine months
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
