I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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