Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Randomize
