after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i wish my penis had a tongue
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
